‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Mandy. This is Dan.’

‘Hello, Dan.’

‘Mandy, the reason I’m calling is…’

(pause)

‘Yes?’

‘The reason I’m calling is… that I have something important I need to say to you.’

‘OK, Dan. What is it?’

‘Um… Er… Although we’ve never met I think we’ve got to know each other pretty well over the years from our talks over the telephone.’

‘Yes, I think we have too, Dan.’

‘You do? Oh good. I’m glad you think so, Mandy, because the truth is…’

‘I love you.’

‘What? Mandy, did you just say I love you?’

‘Yes I did, Dan.’

‘But that’s… that’s wonderful! I can’t tell you how happy that makes me! Because that’s what I was about to say to you! I love you too, Mandy! I love you! I was so nervous about ringing you today. I didn’t think that you felt the same way. I mean I hoped that you might but it just didn’t seem possible. But now I know that you do, it’s… wonderful! Isn’t this wonderful, Mandy?’ (pause) ‘Mandy?’

‘I wasn’t talking to you, Dan.’

‘Eh?’

‘I’m sorry, Dan. When I said I love you I wasn’t talking to you.’

(long pause)

‘Then who were you talking to?’

‘The telephone.’

‘What?’

‘I love you so much. How I wish that you could speak for yourself.’

‘What?’

‘Bye, Dan.’