Olive Why did you want to kill yourself? [...]

Frank I wanted to kill myself [...] because I was very unhappy. [...]

Olive Why were you unhappy?

Frank Uh... Well, there are a lot of reasons. Mainly, though, I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me back.

Olive Who?

Frank One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.

Olive Him? It was a boy? You fell in love with a boy?

Frank Yes, I did. Very much so.

Olive That’s silly.

Frank You’re right, it was silly. It was very, very silly.

Grandpa There’s another word for it.

Mom Dad!

Olive So, that’s when you tried to kill yourself?

Frank Well, no. The boy that I was in love with fell in love with another man, Larry Sugarman.

Mom Who is Larry Sugarman?

Frank Larry Sugarman is, perhaps, the second most highly regarded Proust scholar in the US.

Dad Who is number one?

Frank That would be me, Rich.

Dad Really?

Frank Mhm.

Olive So, that’s when.

Frank No. All what happened was I was a bit upset. So, I said some things that I shouldn’t have said and I did some things that I shouldn’t have done. And subsequently I was fired from my job and forced to move out of my apartment and move into a motel.

Olive And, that’s when you tried to...

Frank Well, no. Actually, all of that was okay. What happened was two days ago the MacArthur Foundation in its infinite wisdom awarded a Genius Grant to Larry Sugarman. And that’s when I...

Grandpa Decided to check out early.

Frank Yes... Yes. And I failed at that as well.