All right... gay as an adverb. That’s great.

I’m okay, I’m okay, I am gay, I’m not alcoholic.

Ed So, what’s the plan?

Shaun Right. We take Pete’s car, we drive over to mum’s, we go in, take care of Phillip [I’m so sorry, Phillip!], then we grab mum, we go over to Liz’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.

Ed Why have we got to go to Liz’s?

Shaun Because we do.

Ed But she dumped you!

Shaun I have to know if she’s all right!

Ed Why?

Shaun Because I love her!

Ed All right... gay. I’m not staying there, though.

Shaun Why not?

Ed If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

Shaun Okay. Take Pete’s car, go around mum’s, go in, deal with Phillip [Sorry, Phillip!], grab mum, go to Liz’s, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.

Ed Perfect!

Shaun No, no, no, no, wait, we can’t bring her back here.

Ed Why not?

Shaun Well, it’s not really safe, is it?

Ed Yeah, look at the state of it.

Shaun Where’s safe? Where’s familiar?

Ed Where can I smoke?

Shaun Take car, go to mum’s, kill Phil [Sorry!], grab Liz, go to the ’Winchester’, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Ed Yeah, boyyyeee!