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vespertine watching

Под покровом ночи. I’m drunk?

Winslow If I had a steak... Oh, boy. A... A rare, a bloody steak. If I... If I had a steak, I would fuck it.

Wake You don’t like me cookin’? [...]

Winslow How could I possibly like the horseshit you fix us for supper?

Wake You’re drunk, or ye wouldn’t be saying that! [...]

Winslow I’m drunk? [...]

Wake You’re fond of me lobster, ain’t ye? You’re drunker than a Virginia fence. I seen it. You’re fond of me lobster. Say it. Say it. Say it!

Winslow I don’t have to say nothin’.

Wake Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead, Winslow! Hark! Hark, Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father, the sea king, rise from the depths, full foul in his fury, black waves teeming with salt-foam, to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs till ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more. Only when he, crowned in cockle shells with slithering tentacled tail and steaming beard, take up his fell, be-finned arm, his coral-tined trident screeches, banshee-like in the tempest, and plunges right through your gullet, bursting ye, a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now, a nothing for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon, only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the dread emperor himself, forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea, for any stuff or part of Winslow, even any scantling of your soul, is Winslow no more, but is now itself the sea.

Winslow All right. Have it your way. I like your cooking.

Make a Virginia fence—to walk in a swerving, unstable manner due to being intoxicated. An allusion to a kind of fence constructed of rails resting across one another in a zig-zag pattern. Chiefly used in New England.

Под покровом ночи. All right... gay

Ed So, what’s the plan?

Shaun Right. We take Pete’s car, we drive over to mum’s, we go in, take care of Phillip [I’m so sorry, Phillip!], then we grab mum, we go over to Liz’s place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.

Ed Why have we got to go to Liz’s?

Shaun Because we do.

Ed But she dumped you!

Shaun I have to know if she’s all right!

Ed Why?

Shaun Because I love her!

Ed All right... gay. I’m not staying there, though.

Shaun Why not?

Ed If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

Shaun Okay. Take Pete’s car, go around mum’s, go in, deal with Phillip [Sorry, Phillip!], grab mum, go to Liz’s, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.

Ed Perfect!

Shaun No, no, no, no, wait, we can’t bring her back here.

Ed Why not?

Shaun Well, it’s not really safe, is it?

Ed Yeah, look at the state of it.

Shaun Where’s safe? Where’s familiar?

Ed Where can I smoke?

Shaun Take car, go to mum’s, kill Phil [Sorry!], grab Liz, go to the ’Winchester’, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Ed Yeah, boyyyeee!

Под покровом ночи. The absurdity of it all

When the yogurt took over, we all made the same jokes.

“Finally our rulers would have culture.”

“Our society is curdled.”

“Our government is now the cream of the crop,” and so on.

But, when we weren’t laughing about the absurdity of it all, we asked ourselves, “How did we ever get to the point where we were, in fact, ruled by a dairy product?”

Под покровом ночи. It rhymed

Dell Kimberly, I was wondering if I could have your number.

Kimberly What?

Dell Your phone number.

Josh Dude. She’s with me.

Dell No.

Josh Uh, yeah. She is.

Dell No, she’s not. Not yet anyway. At best, this is a first date, and I’m shocked that that even happened. I have nothing against you. You might not be a bad guy. Most likely, but maybe not. You’re incredibly handsome. You were probably very handsome when you were a kid too. I think that explains your lack of substance and personality. Only because nobody’s ever really challenged you before. So now as an adult, you think everything you say means something, but it means nothing, actually. You don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s upsetting, and I think she probably sees through that. You’re very pretty, but you’re shallow beyond belief. (to Kimberly) Anyway, can I have your number?

Josh gets really angry.

Kimberly (to Josh) Okay, okay.

Dell What are you doing?

Josh You just said all that shit.

Dell Yeah, but it was just an observation.

Josh And you ask my girl out in front of me?

Dell Shit. Sorry. My mistake. I see that now. I shouldn’t have done that. She’s way too beautiful.

Josh What?

Dell I should be more of a realist. I should know I’m a C, maybe a C+ in winter, when I can cover up my body more. Even though you’re a douchebag, you’re incredibly attractive, so maybe it’s only fair you two pair.

Kimberly smiles. Josh looks at her.

Kimberly What? It rhymed.

Dell She’s right. It rhymed. Alright. Let’s... Can you just put me down?

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