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Под покровом ночи. And two sugars, please

‘[...] Didn’t you even look at the book?’

‘What book? You said something about a book on the phone.’

‘The Great Big Book of Death. I sent it to your shop. I told a woman at the counter that I was sending it, and I got delivery confirmation, so I know it got there.’

‘What woman — Lily? She’s not a woman, she’s a kid.’ [...]

‘Oh, shit. That explains why they’ve been showing up. You didn’t even know.’

‘Who? What? They?’

Mint Green Death sighed heavily. ‘I guess we’re going to be here awhile. I’m going to make some coffee. Do you want some?’

‘Sure, try to lull me into a false sense of security, then spring.’

‘You’re tied the fuck up, motherfucker, I don’t need to lull you into shit. You’ve been fucking with the fabric of human existence and someone needed to shut your ass down.’

‘Oh, sure, go black on me. Play the ethnic card.’

Mint Green climbed to his feet and headed toward the door to the shop. ‘You want cream?’

‘And two sugars, please,’ Charlie said.

Под покровом ночи. It rhymed

Dell Kimberly, I was wondering if I could have your number.

Kimberly What?

Dell Your phone number.

Josh Dude. She’s with me.

Dell No.

Josh Uh, yeah. She is.

Dell No, she’s not. Not yet anyway. At best, this is a first date, and I’m shocked that that even happened. I have nothing against you. You might not be a bad guy. Most likely, but maybe not. You’re incredibly handsome. You were probably very handsome when you were a kid too. I think that explains your lack of substance and personality. Only because nobody’s ever really challenged you before. So now as an adult, you think everything you say means something, but it means nothing, actually. You don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s upsetting, and I think she probably sees through that. You’re very pretty, but you’re shallow beyond belief. (to Kimberly) Anyway, can I have your number?

Josh gets really angry.

Kimberly (to Josh) Okay, okay.

Dell What are you doing?

Josh You just said all that shit.

Dell Yeah, but it was just an observation.

Josh And you ask my girl out in front of me?

Dell Shit. Sorry. My mistake. I see that now. I shouldn’t have done that. She’s way too beautiful.

Josh What?

Dell I should be more of a realist. I should know I’m a C, maybe a C+ in winter, when I can cover up my body more. Even though you’re a douchebag, you’re incredibly attractive, so maybe it’s only fair you two pair.

Kimberly smiles. Josh looks at her.

Kimberly What? It rhymed.

Dell She’s right. It rhymed. Alright. Let’s... Can you just put me down?

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Под покровом ночи

Свершилось чудо! Карлсон вернулся, и теперь ему полагается пошалить.

Новая рубрика #Vespertine для тех, кто ночи напролёт читает книжки и смотрит кино в оригинале. Чистое удовольствие, не испорченное переводом и объяснениями.

В любой непонятной ситуации звоните Стивену Фраю.

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